


Unfaithful

by antimiya88



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-10-15 09:18:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10553876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antimiya88/pseuds/antimiya88
Summary: Aiba Masaki and Sakurai Sho are together for many years despite their differences in terms of character and hobbies. They live together but in the last years grow apart due to the fact that Sho works more and more hours. Masaki loves him but can't help but feel lonely. One day, he meets at work Matsumoto Jun who doesn't hesitate to openly flirt with him. Masaki clears things up though telling him that they can only be friends. They have many things in common and the more time they spend together, the more Masaki starts finding his smile back. Could it be that this be the solution or the key to an even more complicated life with dead-ends?





	1. Chapter 1

Title: Unfaithful  
Author: Andy-chan ([](http://antimiya88.livejournal.com/profile)[ **antimiya88**](http://antimiya88.livejournal.com/) )  


Pairings: Sakuraiba / Junba

Genre: AU, Romance, Drama (slight), Angst (slight)

Rating: R 

Summary: Aiba Masaki and Sakurai Sho are together for many years despite their differences in terms of character and hobbies. They live together but in the last years grow apart due to the fact that Sho works more and more hours. Masaki loves him but can't help but feel lonely. One day, he meets at work Matsumoto Jun who doesn't hesitate to openly flirt with him. Masaki clears things up though telling him that they can only be friends. They have many things in common and the more time they spend together, the more Masaki starts finding his smile back. Could it be that this be the solution or the key to an even more complicated life with dead-ends? 

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the boys, ~~unfortunately~~.

 

 

  


 

 

 

 

Part 1

  


 

Sho opened the door of his apartment as quietly as he could. He took off his shoes and coat and walked towards the kitchen where a carefully covered plate was waiting for him.  
  
** Just heat it for 2 minutes... **   
** I made your favorite… hope you’ll like it… **   
** Masaki  **   
  
He gulped as he felt guilt building up in him once again. The apartment was pitch dark and silent; the only sound that could be heard was that of the clock in the kitchen. It was already 1 am. _You managed to disappoint him once again Sho… congratulations…_  
  
After having taken a quick bath and eaten dinner, he entered his bedroom where he found his lover sleeping peacefully. Sho bit his lower lip trying to suppress his urge to cry and covered himself with the blankets. His hand, trembling found Masaki’s soft hair, caressing it feather-like.  
  
“It was perfect Masaki…” Sho whispered “I’m sorry for being late… baby…”  
  
“It’s your work Sho-chan…” Masaki spoke softly opening his eyes.  
  
Sho gasped at the hearing of his lover’s voice. “Did I wake you up?” he asked whispering.  
  
Masaki smiled, raising his hand to caress Sho’s right cheek. “I heard you coming…”  
  
Sho sighed. “I was ready to leave when that bastard remembered that there was a presentation that’s supposed to be shown tomorrow… I’m so sorry…”  
  
“Sho-chan… I have told you that I-”  
  
“I love you Masaki…” Sho cut him before being able to finish his words.  
  
Masaki smiled. “I love you too Sho… you know that… but let’s sleep now… it’s already late…”  
  
Sho leaned closer and pecked Masaki’s lips before wrapping his hands around him, making sure he was breathing in his scent. Soon, only small puffs could be heard in the room, indicating that he was already sleeping deeply. Masaki turned around and looked at his lover’s face, a bitter smile forming on his lips. _I love you but… I miss you… I feel… I feel as if I’m living on my own… I feel lonely Sho… too lonely…_  
\---  
  
 _“This is it!” Sho exclaimed happily, his face red due to shyness and pride._  
  
 _Masaki was left with his mouth agape. He was standing in front of a quite luxurious block of flats in one of the best neighborhoods in the heart of Tokyo. He wasn’t poor but certainly not so rich to be able to live in such a place._  
  
 _“Don’t… don’t you like it?” Sho’s concerned voice reached his ears, making him wake up from his thoughts._  
  
 _“Eh?! Ah… No! I love it… I was just taken by surprise… Us living together in such place… I can’t believe it…”_  
  
 _“You deserve even more…” Sho whispered close to his ear and pecked his cheek softly._  
  
 _“I love you Sho-chan…” Masaki mumbled and hugged his lover tightly in order to hide his blush._  
  
 _Sho chuckled but hugged him back. “I love you too”_  
  
***  
  
 _“What are you doing this early?”_  
  
 _Masaki turned around and saw Sho leaning against the kitchen’s door with messy bed hair and his pajama pants being uneven. He turned off the cook-top and headed to the other._  
  
 _“I wanted to make you breakfast… This is our first morning living together…” he mumbled ruffling his hair._  
  
 _Sho smirked, his hands wrapping around Masaki’s waist. “The truth is I’m thirsty…”_  
  
 _Masaki leaned closer and kissed Sho on the lips. “There’s coffee and orange juice…”_  
  
 _“No…” Sho shook his head before grabbing Masaki by his hips, lifting him up in the air. “The one that I’m thirsty for is right here… in my arms…” and with that crushed their lips together, leading Masaki back to their bedroom._  
  
 _***_  
  
 _“So now you will have to work more?” Masaki asked pouting._  
  
 _“A few more hours… That’s true but that won’t change anything… I will always find time for you… and with the extra money we will be able to go to New York… It was your dream…”_  
  
 _Masaki pouted. “My biggest dream Sho is to be you… not New York… I don’t want us to end up like those couples who don’t see each other due to work… I prefer having you here next to me, watching movies, eating popcorn… drinking wine… going for walks in the park…”_  
  
 _“I promise you nothing will change… I will just be coming back home two hours later… We could live with that, right? I just want to offer you what you deserve baby… You’ll see nothing is going to change! I promise you!”_  
  
 _Masaki sighed and hugged Sho, his head resting in the crook of his lover’s neck. “I hope so too, Sho… I hope so too…”_  
  
***  
  
 _“Welcome home Sho-chan!” Masaki welcomed his lover happily at the door._  
  
 _“Masaki…” Sho whispered wearily as he stepped inside their apartment, not leaning closer to peck his lips as he always did._  
  
 _It was two months since he had started working as floor manager and the tiredness had shown its first signs. Trying to sound as positive as possible, once he was in their bedroom, he started taking off his clothes. He knew that a hot bath could make him feel better. As Sho was ready to head to the bathroom, Masaki stood in front of him, grinning._  
  
 _“Do you see anything different?” he asked impatience and excitement being recognizable in his voice._  
  
 _Sho knew his lover was impatient by nature but having dealt for 10 hours with his boss had given him such a headache that couldn’t comprehend a thing. He tried to guess what Masaki was talking about but in his state he couldn’t distinguish anything different. Frowning, he pecked Masaki’s lips and passed him by._  
  
 _“Let me have a hot bath first baby… I’m so tired… We’ll talk afterwards…” he mumbled his tone being flat._  
  
 _Masaki bit his lower lip, lowering his head. “I’m so stupid sometimes Sho-chan… I’m sorry…” the last words were barely heard._  
  
 _Sho sighed and wrapped his hands around his lover’s shoulders. “You’re not stupid… Masaki… please don’t say such things… I’m just tired… Let me take a quick shower… I’m sure it will chase that persisting headache of mine away and then I’m all yours… ok?”_  
  
 _Masaki nodded, trying to smile. “Of course Sho-chan…”_  
  
 _Sho pecked Masaki’s cheek and got out of the room, letting the latter alone. ‘I wish we were in our old apartment… it was consisting of only one room but…’ he bit his lower lip, trying to not start crying ‘…but that old Sho would immediately notice my new haircut… would always make sure he would kiss me passionately the moment he’d step in the apartment… would always make sure I was his priority over anything…’_  
  
 _Sighing, he took Sho’s clothes that were left scattered on the bed, to put them back in the closet. “I just want you, Sho… I just want you…” he mumbled with a trembling voice._  
\---  
  
Two more years had gone by and Masaki was used to his new daily life with Sho… or more correctly without Sho… The routine was too monotonous but he didn’t want to admit that there was a problem. He knew that Sho loved him with all his heart. He would always wrap his arms around him whenever he came back home late… he would always peck his lips whispering how much he loves him when he was waking up too early in the morning.  
  
He could see the tiredness in his lover’s eyes and he never doubted him that he didn’t love him truly but he couldn’t understand why Sho would have to push himself so much. Despite the times they had argued about it Sho would never change his mind.  Masaki knew he was too stubborn and proud to declare his defeat and the fact that he already knew about it was only making things end up in a vicious circle.  
…………………………………….  


“I want the other lens Aiba-kun! Hurry up!” Masaki’s boss said abruptly. He was always like that but Masaki knew he wasn’t a bad person. Working as the assistant of one of the best photographers in Japan wasn’t a small thing.  
  
“Here…” Masaki said leaving the larger lens on the small round table.  
  
“Good… go to the dressing room. The model must be ready…”  
  
“Of course…” he mumbled and headed fast to find the model. That day’s photo shoot was inspired by the 40s – American style.  
  
Masaki knocked discreetly on the door. “ _Enter!_ ” a voice was heard from inside.  The door was opened, revealing one of the most beautiful men Masaki had ever met in his life. He wasn’t too tall, around his height, but his facial characteristics were intense; full lips, a few moles that decorated smoothly his cream white skin with two beautiful eyes, decorated by perfectly shaped yet powerful eyebrows.  
  
“I didn’t know I wouldn’t be on my own today…” he said frowning. “I guess I was wrong…”  
  
Masaki looked at him confused. “You _are_ on your own today…” he looked fast at his papers to find the model’s name “Matsumoto-san… I just came to tell you that we are ready to start…”  
  
The model, who wore a dark beige gabardine over his dark grey suit, came closer, his eyes scanning Masaki from head to toe. “You want to tell me that you’re _not_ a model?!”  
  
“I… what?!” Masaki asked feeling his cheeks getting hotter. “No…” he shook fast his head “… I’m not… I’m Aiba, Yokoyama-san’s assistant…”  
  
“Pity…” the model said once he was standing right in front of him. “I’d be gladly sharing today’s photo shoot with someone as beautiful as you…” he continued in a lower tone and winked at him before stepping out of the dressing room.  
  
Masaki was left astonished. It had been several years since he was flirted and what is more in such a direct way… even if he wasn’t interested, he couldn’t help but feel flattered. _At least, it made me feel more reassured…_ he thought as he followed him trying to clear up his mind. _I haven’t heard any compliment in years…_

_***_  
  
“That’s it! We’re done!”The photographer said announcing that the photo shoot was done.  
  
“Good work today, Matsumoto-san!” Masaki said smiling as he bowed.  
  
“Please… call me Jun…” the model said, smiling as he gave the gabardine to one of the stylists.  
  
“Jun-san…” Masaki repeated.  
  
“Do you have to leave immediately?”  
  
“I… can’t leave yet… I have to work on your photos first… but-” Masaki shrugged.  
  
“Ah… ok then! I’ll wait!” Jun said grinning and headed back to the dressing room to change back into his clothes.  
  
Masaki started working on the pc, feeling his heart beating faster. He could tell how the other was looking at him even during the photo shoot, his glazes on him were sending the message clearly and Masaki knew that he had to stop him... yet he couldn’t help but feel somehow happy… looking at him… listening to those words… even if it wasn’t Sho the one saying them. Despite Sho’s love, during the past few years he wouldn’t hear sweet words… or feel small moves of affection… something that had started making him doubt his own self. Could it be that he was the one who played a role for Sho’s indifference towards him? But then again he knew he shouldn’t even think such things… when Sho was trying his best to make his dream come true. _Why does it have to be this complicated? Why?_ he asked himself without being able to answer.  
  
He was lost in his thoughts when he felt a pat on his shoulders, startling him. “Aren’t you finished yet?”  
  
Masaki looked above his shoulder. Jun was dressed casually in a pair of jeans, a sweatshirt and athletic shoes, but even like that he looked astounding. He was left staring at him having forgotten where he was and most importantly that he shouldn’t do so in the first place.  
  
Jun leaned closer to the other, noticing the intense gaze upon him, smirking. “I didn’t know I looked _this_ good in such clothes…”  
  
Masaki gasped, realizing what he was doing. “I… I didn’t-”  
  
“Do you want to go and grab a coffee? I desperately need some caffeine at the moment…” Jun said, cutting him off, not giving Masaki the chance to finish his words.  
  
Masaki lowered his head. “I… I can’t…” his voice was low, its tone almost apologizing.  
  
Jun chuckled as he brushed his hand through his hair. “I knew that a beauty like you would already be taken… such pity… can you tell me your first name at least, Aiba-san? I would like to know it… if it is ok with you of course…”  
  
Masaki hesitated for a couple of seconds before muttering his name rather reluctantly.  
  
“Masaki…” Jun repeated. “As I thought… so beautiful… exactly like you…”  
  
Masaki was ready to reply when he heard his phone buzzing. His eyes lit up when he saw the caller’s id.  
  
“Sho-chan?” he spoke smiling widely.  
  
“ _Masaki…_ ” Sho was heard from the other end of the line and from the hesitation in his lover’s voice, Masaki’s smile faded away. “ _I know… I know that I had promised you to have dinner together tonight… I explained to that bastard that it was important for me to leave but he wouldn’t listen anything…_ ”  
  
Masaki closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “You can’t make it…” he whispered before being able to stop himself; disappointment being drawn to his voice.  
  
“ _Baby… I’m so sorry… I will ask for vacation leave… I haven’t had any in three years… I promise you…. We’ll celebrate our anniversary as we should… There’s no way on Earth that I won’t spend precious time with the one I love the most… I love you my angel…_ ”  
  
Masaki smiled at the hearing of the last words. He knew better than anyone that Sho did love him but he couldn’t suppress the feeling of being left alone… more and more.  
  
“I love you too…” the reply came almost as a whisper.  
  
“ _He’s already calling me back… Look I’ll buy the best wine and when I’ll come home we will celebrate! Ok?_ ”  
  
“Don’t worry, Sho… concentrate on your work…”  
  
“ _Again I’m sorry Masaki… Love you…_ ”  
  
The call was ended and Masaki was left staring blankly on the floor for several seconds before sighing.  
  
“Bye bye Masaki-san…”  
  
Jun’s voice made Masaki look at him. _I want to clear up my mind… but then I shouldn’t… but why? It’s only one coffee… I don’t want to stay alone… no… not today…_  
  
“Matsumoto-san…?” he asked the model when he saw the latter walking away from him.  
  
“Yes?” Jun asked, turning around slowly.  
  
“Is the invitation for the coffee still on? It seems that I’m free… and… I guess I need some caffeine as well…”  
  
Jun’s face was delighted immediately. “Of course… Masak-”  
  
“But _only_ as friends… _please_ …” Masaki insisted, making Jun sighing.  
  
“As whatever you want… Masaki-san…”

***  
  
“You should laugh more… you’re even more beautiful that way…” Jun said out of the blue as they were enjoying their coffees at the small café three corners away from the studio, making Masaki blush against his will.  
  
“Matsumoto-san…” he mumbled not being able to finish his words. He didn’t know what he was supposed to say anyway… a part of him wanted Jun to stop and another part of him, small but still present, wanted the other to keep on with these beautiful words.  
  
“It was a simple statement Masaki-san… but I’m Jun… I told you…”  
  
“But…”  
  
“You are an interesting person… Masaki-san… You must have figured it already out that I would like us to be more than friends but since we can’t, I guess that I could stick with that… I’ve never met a person in my life before that could make me smile like that…” Jun said smiling widely.  
  
Masaki only nodded and sipped some of the hot coffee he was holding between his hands. He had caught the other staring at him all the time and for some weird reason he didn’t find it annoying. It was actually nice to feel that someone did pay attention to him when he was talking.  
  
It wasn’t that he accused Sho for anything. He knew the other was making all the efforts to be like he used to be… he knew that, after having worked for so many hours straight, it would be logical to fall asleep on the couch while he was talking about a his boss’ new project or the decorations he wanted for this year’s Christmas… he knew… _but it still hurt…_  
  
“Do you want us to order a sweet perhaps… or?” Jun asked casually, as if his hand wasn’t touching Masaki’s.  
  
Masaki pulled his discreetly. “I think we should go Jun-san… It’s already late…”  
  
Jun sighed but made a nod to the waiter. “But I truly mean it Masaki-san… I would like us to be friends…”  
  
Soon, they were walking next to each other, Masaki making sure he was keeping some distance between them.  
  
“Takoyaki!” Jun exclaimed happily, pointing at one street vendor a few meters ahead of them. “C’mon…” he grabbed Masaki’s hand leading him there. “My treat!”  
……………………………………..  
  
  
Masaki was looking at his phone screen.  
  
From: **Matsumoto Jun**  
It’s my birthday in a week   
I’ll have some friends come over next Saturday.  
If you want you may pass by…   
You can see my address in the attachment!  
I’ll be happy to see you! ;)  
Jun  
  
“Baby…” Sho’s voice heard from the living room. “Aren’t you changed yet?”  
  
Masaki looked at his idol in the mirror to realize that he was still wearing his home sweatpants and T-shirt. He was supposed to get ready because Sho had made a reservation in his favorite restaurant but Jun’s message had made him freeze. It had been a while since he could go out for dinner with his boyfriend yet his mind was a mess. He could feel the excitement running through his veins every time his phone vibrated because he had received a message from Jun and he hated it; he hated it because once again he was a mess.  
  
It had already been six months since he had met the model for the first time and they would meet up for a coffee or sometimes even lunch. Jun continued to flirt with him but he would always keep the pretexts. A tiny voice in Masaki’s head was telling him that he had to stop meeting up with the model… it would only bring trouble but he couldn’t. He didn’t know why but he gradually started looking forward to his meetings with Jun.  
  
The model proved to have a good sense of humor and with a great interest in photography as well. Masaki cold discuss with him over art and things that usually Sho was bored with, even if he always pretended that he was interested. As months went on, whenever there was an interesting exhibition he would go with Jun and afterwards they would discuss about it for hours. It was as if he had found a way to not feel lonely anymore… as another part of him had found its companion… completing him in a way he’d never guessed.  
  
Despite all that… he had never told Sho about Jun… Jun was just a friend… he had cleared it up to him so many times… but still he didn’t want to mention him to Sho. He didn’t know why… or perhaps he knew but he still didn’t want to admit it to even to himself.  
  
“Masaki… we will be late…” Sho said as he came into the bedroom startling Masaki who still kept his phone in hand. “Who was it?” his boyfriend asked curiously.  
  
“A colleague from work…” Masaki mumbled not daring to look at Sho’s eyes at the moment. “He just reminded me something…” he continued in the same tone before standing up and taking off his T-shirt. “I’ll be ready in five minutes and then we can go!”  
  
Sho got out of the bedroom and sat at the corner of their sofa in the living room. He bit his lower lip as his mind was working like crazy trying to analyze what had just happened. He could sense the uneasiness in Masaki’s reaction but tried to suppress his crazy, as he named them, thoughts. He couldn’t know if Masaki remained more hours out than before or if he had made new friends and met up with them as he would always be at work. _Masaki would never betray me like that… Never…_  
  
He saw him entering the living room, dressed up in his dark blue jeans and the white shirt that Sho had bought him as a present a couple of months ago and he couldn’t help but feel guilty. His lover was so beautiful but when was the last time he had actually said it to him? Without breaking his eye contact he went closer to the other who seemed to feel a bit uneasy under Sho’s intense gaze.  
  
“Sho…” Masaki mumbled but stopped when he felt his lover’s arms wrapping tightly around his waist bringing their bodies close.  
  
“You’re so beautiful baby…” Sho said in an almost raw voice that sent shivers down Masaki’s spine.  
  
Masaki couldn’t remember when it was the last time that he had heard him saying such words and especially looking at him longingly like he did at the moment. His heart started racing up in his chest as Sho’s right hand came to trace feather-like from his cheek to his neck. “So beautiful…”  
  
“Sho…” he said, lust building up inside him. It had been so many months since he had felt the other’s touch and his body as craving for affection… love… he brought his hands around Sho’s neck and leaned close to his ear. “Make love to me…”  
  
Sho gasped. “We have made this reservation and we…” he couldn’t continue as he felt the way his lover’s lips were touching his skin close to his ear, moving closer to his lips.  
  
“I want you Sho…” Masaki said hoarsely looking deep in Sho’s eyes. “I want you so much…”  
  
“Masaki…” Sho whispered and without letting any more minutes pass, he crushed their lips together almost painfully, as his hands tried in a desperate way to help Masaki out of his clothes.  
  
Soon, they were on their bed, naked their legs intertwined, moving around as they were desperately trying to remember… remember how it is to breathe in each other’s scent… taste… feel…  It felt so right that made them both wonder why they had grown apart like that. Hours had passed and the breathy moans… gasps… were continuing to fill the air making them even more insatiable. It was only when their bodies protested that they stopped, feeling exhausted and fulfilled in the same time.  
  
“I can’t remember when it was the last time that happened…” Masaki whispered, buried in Sho’s arms as he was.  
  
“I can’t remember either…” Sho replied his head turned the other way. “Masaki…”  
  
“I love you…” Masaki said pecking his lover’s lips.  
  
Sho tightened his grip around him. “I… Masaki… can I ask you something?”  
  
“Of course…” Masaki mumbled, noticing that Sho didn’t say ‘I love you too’ back at him.  
  
“I feel that you keep something from me… like… a secret… Should I feel worried?” Sho whispered trying to seek the truth.  
  
Masaki’s body involuntarily stiffened as he heard Sho’s words. The other was looking intensively at him, making him feel naked in the worst way possible… he had wanted to open his heart and tell him everything… his thoughts… his hopes… his fears… his doubts… but Sho’s clear accusation made him hush. He had never done anything wrong… Sho was the one who would always be away… late… indifferent towards him… and yet now he was the one asked this question… when he should have made it to Sho since years ago… yet he never said anything.  
  
“Sho… I just realized that there was no point of bemusing you with my affairs… I mean… you never were able to cope with them completely and when you’re this tired because of work it would only worsen your headaches…” Masaki said and freed himself from Sho’s arms, standing up from the bed. “I’ll have a quick bath…”  
  
He stepped into the shower booth letting hot water fall on his face. _You finally show me that you’re still here with me… I feel as if all the things were like before and yet you spoil the moment by accusing me of having secrets as if I have done anything wrong yet you didn’t apologize to me… as if everything you are doing is right, Sho… and still I love you so much… so much…_  
  
Sho punched the mattress mad; mad with himself and with Masaki. From the way he felt Masaki responding to him and the way he chanted his name like a mantra he knew that he loved him and that he hadn’t betray him in any way. Yet… he couldn’t hold himself back. He knew that his voice was bitter but he couldn’t help it… he felt he was losing his lover and he couldn’t control himself. _Sho… admit it… you are the one at fault…_  
…………………………………………………  
  
  
Jun couldn’t believe his eyes when he opened the door of his apartment and Masaki was standing out with a bottle of wine in his hands.  
  
“Masaki-kun… My birthday is in six days…”  
  
“I know… I just needed a friend…” his voice almost cracked and Jun quickly made way for Masaki to come in.  
  
It was obvious that the other was having issues with his lover, making Jun wish that he was the one… he couldn’t understand how that man would be so ungrateful. He had such a magnificent person by his side and instead of making him smile, he always caused him pain. And what confused Jun more was that Masaki actually loved his boyfriend… even if he had caught Masaki’s eyes sparkling dangerously when he was close to him. Jun was sure he loved this person and, even if it sounded ridiculous in his ears, he dared to say that Masaki loved him as well; a tiny bit… but he did… he actually did.

***  
  
“You see?” Masaki said in a trembling voice once he finished his second glass. “He didn’t even call to tell me he will be late… but I guess I don’t need it anymore… I’m used to it… living on my own! But I never complained about anything… because he’s doing it for me… so that I can go to New York for photography… I know that he loves me… even if he doesn’t say it that much nowadays… I know…” Masaki sighed as he refilled his glass.  
  
“And I couldn’t believe it yesterday… he called me beautiful… like we always used to… he made love to me passionately… I was happy you know… feeling that my Sho-chan was really there for me… Yet…”  Masaki sniffed a bit as tears started filling up his eyes. “He accused me of keeping secrets… of me being the one that ruins our relationship… me… who hasn’t complained…. I was the one that was supposed to accuse him yet I never did… and there he is…”  
  
“Masaki… tell me something… have you told him about me?” Masaki looked at him bewildered. Jun smiled though continuing. “Don’t look at me like that… and answer me…”  
  
“I…”  
  
“You haven’t… Masaki… I’m sure you haven’t… but… have you asked yourself why?”  
  
Masaki frowned. “You are accusing me too?” he tried to stand up but his legs, numb, betrayed him, causing him to fall back on the sofa.  
  
“No… I’m just stating a fact… You haven’t told your boyfriend about meting up with me… Why? Have you ever questioned yourself? We are _just friends_ …”  
  
“Of course we are!”  
  
“Then why?” Jun insisted, making Masaki frown as he tried desperately to find an answer.  
  
“I… I don’t know…”  
  
“You do… that’s why you came here…”  
  
“What?”  
  
“You have fallen in love with me… no matter how much you try to convince yourself for the opposite… That’s why you’re this upset… that’s why you needed to see me… to convince yourself once again…”  
  
“You’re speaking nonsense Jun… and I’m sorry I came here to bother you… It seems you’re not the friend I thought you were…”  
  
For a few seconds complete silence filled the room. They were staring at each other’s eyes not being able to utter a single word, when Jun, eventually, grabbed Masaki’s shoulders leaning closer to him. “Stop lying to yourself Masaki…”  
  
“No! I told you! You stop saying nonse-” Masaki couldn’t finish his words as he felt Jun’s hot lips claiming his. His mind went blank as he felt his heart beating like crazy against his ribs. Hotness spread across his body as the kiss deepened even more. His hands were ready to wrap around Jun’s neck when he realized what he was doing and pushed with all his might Jun away.  
  
“How did you dare kissing me?”  
  
“The same way you kissed me back?” Jun said without breaking their eye contact.  
  
“This was a mistake… I have Sho and I love him…” Masaki whispered as he quickly headed to the door putting on his shoes.  
  
He was ready to open the door when he felt Jun’s arms around his waist and his chin leaning on his left shoulder. “I know you do… as I know that you love me too… All I’m asking you is to have you… even if I have to share you with him… I love you Masaki…”  
  
“Jun…” Masaki said in a whispering tone as he pulled the other’s hands off him.  
  
“I will be waiting for you on my birthday party, Masaki…” Masaki heard Jun saying to him as he closed the door behind him.  
  
He reached the elevator and looked at his idol in its mirror. He couldn’t believe what had just happened but what made him even more scared was the fact that he knew… he would come to Jun’s party… his lips had felt right… differently right from Sho’s ones but still… right...  
  
 _Why?_ he asked himself as he walked out of the building, letting the wind hit on his face. _Why?_

  
  
TO BE CONTINUED…  
  
  
  
  
  
 A.N. Sooo minna this is a 2-part fic, inspired, as you could probably tell, by Rihanna's 'Unfaithful'! ^_^ I know that it might not be so much likeable since it's both Sakuraiba & Junba but I wanted to write it for months now... :P  
Sho seems to be too focused on himself and Masaki decides not to open up and tell his worries to him. He lets Jun come closer even if he can tell from the very start that he might be 'dangerous' to him. We'll see in the next part what happens next... Complicated right?! XP  
Next part will be posted in a week from now! ;D

 

Also... I would like to wish you all _Happy New Year!_ May 2016 be full of happiness, piece and bring to all of you what you want the most in your lives!!! Love you!!! ^_^  


I really hope you enjoyed it and as always your comments are <333!!!

 

 

 

See you! ^_^


	2. Unfaithful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aiba Masaki and Sakurai Sho are together for many years despite their differences in terms of character and hobbies. They live together but in the last years grow apart due to the fact that Sho works more and more hours. Masaki loves him but can't help but feel lonely. One day, he meets at work Matsumoto Jun who doesn't hesitate to openly flirt with him. Masaki clears things up though telling him that they can only be friends. They have many things in common and the more time they spend together, the more Masaki starts finding his smile back. Could it be that this be the solution or the key to an even more complicated life with dead-ends?

Title: Unfaithful

Author: Andy-chan ([](http://antimiya88.livejournal.com/profile)[ **antimiya88**](http://antimiya88.livejournal.com/) )

Pairings: Sakuraiba / Junba

Genre: AU, Romance, Drama (slight), Angst (slight)

Rating: R

Summary: Aiba Masaki and Sakurai Sho are together for many years despite their differences in terms of character and hobbies. They live together but in the last years grow apart due to the fact that Sho works more and more hours. Masaki loves him but can't help but feel lonely. One day, he meets at work Matsumoto Jun who doesn't hesitate to openly flirt with him. Masaki clears things up though telling him that they can only be friends. They have many things in common and the more time they spend together, the more Masaki starts finding his smile back. Could it be that this be the solution or the key to an even more complicated life with dead-ends?

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the boys, ~~unfortunately~~.

 

 

  


 

 

 

  
[Part 1](http://antimiya88.livejournal.com/41848.html#cutid1)

 

  


Part 2

 

Masaki could sense the smell of freshly baked pancakes coming from the kitchen but refused to open his eyes. It wasn’t that he was tired… It was more like denying accepting the truth.

“Baby…” a voice was heard. “It’s time to wake up… I’ve made us breakfast… Masaki though stayed still. “C’mon you sleepy…” the other continued but it wasn’t until two arms were wrapped around him that Masaki relaxed and a shy smile appeared on his face.

“You like it when I babysit you like that don’t you?” his lover spoke mischievously as he started laying feather like kisses from his forehead to his nose and finally to his lips. “I love you…” the words came out as a whisper and Masaki opened his eyes meeting the other’s ones looking back at him.

“Jun…” he mumbled, feeling his cheeks getting pink.

“You will never say these words to me…” Jun’s tone showed his bitterness and Masaki bit his lower lip guiltily.

“I really don’t know…” Masaki replied truthfully, his gaze going blankly somewhere on the wooden floor on his right. “…But you mean a lot to me Jun… I… wouldn’t come here otherwise… all of this time… I…”

Jun grabbed Masaki’s chin and turned his face around so that they could see each other. “That’s enough for me… I know that you wouldn’t come here if I meant absolutely nothing… and I’ve told you so… I’ll be waiting for as long as it takes… I will make you mine… body and soul…”

“Jun…” Masaki tried to speak up once again but was hushed as Jun’s lips demanded his forcefully, taking his breath away. Immediately, hotness and desire spread along his body reminding him that he really meant it… he did feel something for Jun… something that he didn’t want to put it into words but it was there and it was getting stronger day after day.  
***

_Six months earlier…_

 

Masaki was waiting out of the door for ten minutes already. He was holding a bottle of an expensive wine in his left hand while trying to decide whether his presence at Jun’s party was the right thing to do.

“Excuse me…” a voice was heard behind him, startling him a bit. “Ah! I’m sorry if I scared you… But you’re looking for whom exactly?”

Masaki hesitated for a second before clearing his throat. “Ma… Matsumoto Jun… his party I mean…”

“You’re at the right door then!” the other responded and quickly pressed the doorbell. “I’m Oguri Shun by the way”

“Aiba Masaki…” Masaki replied but his voice came out as a whisper.

The door opened to reveal an astounding Jun dressed in a quite tight, dark blue pair of jeans and a V-neck black shirt that showed off his well built torso in the most seductive way. His hair was styled with some gel and his cologne was matching perfectly his personality; intense yet classy.

“Masaki?! You came…” the model said smiling widely as he saw the other standing next to his best friend. “Come on in!”

Masaki stepped inside to realize that there were only a couple of friends. “For you…” he mumbled as he handed the bottle.

“Thank you…” Jun replied, leaning even closer to Masaki’s ear. “But… you really didn’t have to… Masaki… You are far more precious than any kind of wine… Thank you for coming tonight… It means a lot to me…”

“Jun-kun I…”

“It really does…” Jun cut him off kissing him softly on the right cheek. Masaki blushed and lowered his head, causing Jun to chuckle. “You’re so cute when you blush…” he took Masaki’s hand in his and pulled him towards the others. “Let me introduce you to my friends…”

The night proved to be rather amusing and Masaki forgot completely his guilt and secondary thoughts. He was there having fun with good friends… there wasn’t anything reprehensive into that… or that was what he was trying to convince himself to believe.

Hours had passed by and everyone had left. Masaki had tried to leave earlier but every time, he was stopped by the model. “At least, let me help you with those…” he mumbled seeing the number of dishes lying in the sink to be cleaned. “You won’t finish till the early morning and you have photo shoot if I’m not mistaken… I’ll leave afterwards…”

Jun didn’t reply to this. He was left watching the other opening the water and getting the dishwasher liquid in his hands to get started. _I don’t mean anything to you and now you want to help me with the dishes and care if I sleep enough hours?!_ A somewhat gentle smirk appeared on his lips as he got up from the sofa, heading towards the other. _You don’t want to accept the truth Masaki… the truth that says that I mean something to you…_

“You don’t have to do that…” he whispered straight into Masaki’s ear as his hands came to touch the latter’s hips from behind. “Though I have to admit that you look sexy in my kitchen like that…”

“Jun…” Masaki’s voice was almost trembling as he uttered it weakly.

“You want me…” Jun whispered, this time pressing his body completely on the other’s one. “Admit it already Masaki…” a kiss landed slightly behind Masaki’s ear, sending tens of shudders down his spine. “You want me… you care for me…” Jun continued his torture as his hand reached for Masaki’s chin, making him turn his head. “I want you too… I want you so much…” he said, his hot breath landing straight on Masaki’s lips making his breath become completely uneven.

Jun’s caresses were slow… yet sensual… erotic… demanding. Masaki couldn’t remember how he was led to Jun’s bedroom and how he found himself lying on his back completely naked. All he could remember was the way Jun’s lips moved all over his torso… claiming for ownership. The touches, everything was completely different from Sho. Jun was rougher while still being caring and all Masaki could do was to scream… scream at the top of his lungs as his spot was hit mercilessly.

Tired and drained after several rounds, he found his eyelids heavy, drifting into sleep. It wasn’t till the next morning that he realized that the hands that were holding him tightly weren’t his boyfriend’s but someone else’s; someone that despite the guilt he was feeling at the moment had made him more alive than he had ever felt in the last few years.

His eyes opened when he heard his phone ringing somewhere in the living room. _Sho…_ Fast, he left the bed and without caring to put something on him, he ran to pick up the call.

He took a deep breath and pressed the call button. “Hello?”

“ _Masaki? Baby… I was worried… Are you alright?_ ”

“Yes… I... hmmm… I drank a bit too much last night and… I couldn’t come back home so they offered me to stay here for the night…”

“ _I guessed so… but you could call me… Anyway…_ ” Masaki heard Sho sighing. _“You’re coming back, right?_ ”

“Yes! I’ll just grab a cup of coffee and I’ll be right back!”

“ _I’ll be waiting for you… and then…_ ”

“You have to go to work?”

“ _No… I was thinking to go on a date… It’s been centuries since we’ve lastly been on one… what do you say?_ ”

Masaki thought his heart would crush against his ribs. He was certain for one thing. He loved Sho… he truly loved him… then why? Why did he sleep with Jun? And above all why did he still feel fulfilled?

“I… I’d love that Sho…”

“ _Ok baby! I’ll be waiting! Bye_ ”

“Bye…” and with that ended the call and sighed, looking at his phone screen.

“You’re troubling yourself without reason…” a voice from behind startled him.

Masaki lowered his head without turning around. “Without a reason?! I just cheated on my boyfriend… I …”

“You fulfilled a part that you were missing…”

“But still I’m at fault… I betrayed the man I love…”

“But you like me Masaki… you know that… no matter how much you’re denying it yourself…”

“Jun…”

“And you’ll come back because no matter how much you feel guilty you know that last night… what happened between us meant something to you… the same way it meant something to me…”

Masaki passed Jun by and quickly picked up his clothes. He was ready to leave the apartment when he heard the other’s voice.

“You’re not leaving like that…” he turned around frowning, just to gasp out of surprise when he was led to the most passionate kiss he had ever experienced. Involuntarily, he moaned as his hands crawled on Jun’s arms till they rested around his neck pulling him closer. It wasn’t till minutes later when they broke it, feeling the need for air. “Now you can go… I’ll call you…”

Masaki didn’t say anything back. He went out of the apartment and once he was on the pavement he started running as fast as his legs could carry him. _Why must he be so addictive? And why am I so weak when it comes to him? Why…? Why…?_  
***

_Present day…_

 

Jun gave Masaki his cup of coffee. “This Saturday there will be held this photography exhibition. Wouldn’t you like us to go together, Masaki?”

“The one at the National Museum of Modern Art…?” Masaki asked without looking at the other.

“Yes!”

“I can’t…”

“But…” Jun tried to speak but was immediately cut off.

“I’m going with Sho… I’ve got to leave now… I’ll call you…” Masaki stood up and left without throwing a single glance on Jun. He knew that the other would be hurt. Sometimes he wondered how he could be that selfish. _It seems that I’m a worse person than I thought I could ever be…_  
……………………………………………

 

“Sho…” Masaki was taken aback by the desperate way Sho pulled him into a hug the moment he got out of the shower.

“I missed you baby… I missed you so much…” Sho said hoarsely.

“I missed you too, Sho… I really did…” Masaki replied honestly, as he buried his face in the crook of his boyfriend’s neck, feeling it so relaxing… so familiar. Sho felt like home… perhaps that was the reason that he couldn’t stand his absence… he felt homeless. _That’s why I can’t leave him…_

“After the exhibition I have made a reservation to our favorite restaurant and then we can continue our little party back here… what do you say…?” Sho said huskily rotating his hips so that the other could understand his hint.

Masaki giggled and kissed feather-like the skin that was revealed in front of him. “I’d love that… let me get ready now…”

“I’m waiting for you here…”

Masaki pecked Sho’s lips and went to his bedroom to get ready. _If only you weren’t working this much… then…_ he gasped out of fear. _But would I be able to break up with Jun? God… I’m so messed up…_ he shook his head to get rid of those thoughts that started filling his head. _Whatever it is, this isn’t the right time to think about it… This is about Sho… about us…_  
***

“Sho! Look at this one! Look at its technique! It’s the new tendency… Focusing at one object of the background so that it can highlight the object of the photo… Isn’t it interesting?”

Sho tilted his head trying to find something to say. He was way too ignorant when it came to such things and certainly felt out of his safety zone.

“I guess… so…” he answered reluctantly when he heard someone talking next to him.

“For me the most interesting part is that with this technique you show that something comes to the foreground mostly based on the ones surrounding it… making everything look the same important… For example… this flower wouldn’t have the same dynamic if it wasn’t for the rocks and the raging sea on the background… it’s rather contradictive and by focusing on a part of the background, it translates that even at the most difficult situations hope is always there… don’t you agree?”

Sho was left with his mouth open. The other had managed to say so many things when he could only answer ‘I guess so…’ and it wasn’t just that. He was also extremely handsome.

“I’m not that good when it comes to words… I’m better with numbers… and statistics…” Sho replied rather embarrassed.

“Everyone is a unique person with his own interests and strong points… don’t worry, Sakurai-san…”

Sho was left dumbfounded. How could the other know his name? He also sensed Masaki getting stiff next to him but he couldn’t find out why. “You know me?”

“Ah! My mistake! I’m Matsumoto Jun… Aiba-kun’s friend… we met at work! Nice to meet you!”

Sho felt as if he was punched on the stomach. Masaki had never mentioned who his new friend was… only vaguely. He didn’t have a reason to feel uneasy… then why…?

“Nice to meet you…” Sho mumbled in return trying desperately to push his thoughts back.

“Matsumoto-kun… I… I didn’t know that you’d be here…”

“I guess it was inevitable since we both love the photography…”

“I guess so…” Masaki replied avoiding looking the other in the eye. “If you excuse us now… We’re on a date you see…”

Jun smiled nodding. “Of course…”

Masaki grabbed Sho’s hand and pulled him to the next corridor at their right. “I’m a bit hungry… Would you like us to leave?”

“But we’ve only seen the half of it…”

“I know… but more than the exhibition I want to see you, Sho… It’s been a while since we’ve been on a date… so?”

“Has this Matsumoto Jun anything to do with that?” Sho asked, fear clawing him slowly.

Masaki gasped. “What?! Of course not… I just want to spend time with you… only you… Today I’m here for _you_ …”

“But he’s your friend…” Sho said his eyes trying to look deep inside the other. “And he seemed to understand photography better than me…”

“Enough!” Masaki spoke out loud, causing some heads to turn towards them. “I…” he bit his lower lip. “I just want to be with you… just with you, Sho… what don’t you understand? I want to be with _you_ …” his voice was desperate and almost cracked up as he uttered the last words.

Sho sighed and embraced his boyfriend, his hands caressing his back. “Shhh…” he whispered straight in his ear. “You don’t have to be upset, baby… We’re leaving…”

“Thank you…” Masaki whispered, a fade smile appearing on his lips. “I love you…”

“I love you too…” Sho replied as he pulled Masaki towards the exit with their fingers intertwined. _But you’re not telling me the whole truth Masaki… you’re not…_  
***

Jun was peeking on them, his heart beating so fast that he thought it would break. Masaki had said the two words he would never say to him. He could see the reason why he couldn’t have Masaki for himself completely… _I will manage to be the one who wins you over in the end Masaki… I promise you that…_  
……………………………………………..

 

“Why do you have this sulking face?”

Sho turned around and saw his coworker lighting up his cigarette. “Nothing…”

“I’d say you’re mourning… You can tell me, Sakurai-kun…”

Sho sighed, debating whether he should speak his concerns or not. “I… I think that I’m losing my boyfriend…”

“Oh!” the other said nodding his head. “That was to be expected! And if I want to be honest I wonder how it lasted for so long!”

Sho frowned. “What do you mean, Ninomiya-kun?”

“You’re supposed to be an ace in numbers and statistics yet you failed at realizing that?! Tell me… when you’re working pretty much for 10-12 hours per day… for… hmm… let’s say six days per week… do you really think that such a schedule boosts your love life? I’d say quite the opposite…”

“I know I’m overworking but that’s the only way for me to help Masaki and make his dream come true…”

“I’m sure he knows it… that’s why he’s still with you… but sometimes no matter how much our mind tells us to keep with what we know it’s the right thing to do our feelings might start getting different… It’s been already more than two years since you got this promotion and since then you’ve made the company your second or more correctly not… your _first_ home… Your boyfriend is more or less living in your apartment alone. I’m also pretty sure that you’re way too tired to have a healthy sex life… I wouldn’t exactly be surprised if he decided to find a nest somewhere else. Because you know, Sakurai-san…” Nino put his hands in his pockets after having thrown his cigarette end in the dustbin. “People have more need of the physical presence of the person they’re with, rather than a dream… Everyday life is more important… remember this…”

_‘I wouldn’t be exactly surprised if he decided to find a nest somewhere else…’_ Sho’s mind kept replaying that phrase endless times. He gasped when the image of Matsumoto Jun came to his mind. He was handsome… with interests similar to Masaki’s and above all there was a weird tension that time at the photography exhibition.

_No…_ he shook his head fast. _No… Masaki wouldn’t do that to me… but then…_ he turned his gaze up to the sky where dark clouds had covered it, resembling somehow Sho’s soul at the moment.  _What have **I** done to him…? Nothing… Absolutely nothing…_  
………………………………………..

 

“I’m home!” he exclaimed keeping a bag full of Masaki’s favorite sweets. He was determined to win Masaki back… to turn things the way they were before… when Masaki used to welcome him back home with a wide smile on his face and sparkling from happiness eyes.

“Masa-” he tried to speak once again but saw Masaki sitting on the couch speaking on the phone. It was clear that he hadn’t heard of him coming back.

“Nooo! Jun… stop! Seriously, you’re unbelievable sometimes!” Masaki said trying to muffle his laughter.

_Jun… He’s talking to Matsumoto Jun…_ Sho felt as if hundreds of knives were shoved in his heart.

“Of course not! I wouldn’t do that!” Masaki continued cheerfully, almost flirtatiously, causing tears to build up in Sho’s eyes. It wasn’t but for years since he had heard the other being like that… like he used to be… being the Masaki he had fallen for…

 “Look… I know that you won’t stop anytime soon but I’ve got to go now… Sho will be coming back in a minute… Can’t wait to see you too! Bye-bye!” and with that phrase Masaki hung up. For a moment he looked at his phone, his gaze turning blank… sad… and for some reason that look was what scared Sho the most.

Masaki stood up from the sofa ready to go to the kitchen when he caught with the corner of his eye that Sho was standing close to him.

“Sh- Sho?”

“I just came…” Sho mumbled. “Here… I bought you your favorite cream cakes…” he handed his boyfriend the bag and loosed his tie. “I’ll take a hot bath ok?”

Masaki ran towards him, grabbing his wrist. “Sho…”

Sho smiled and caressed Masaki’s hair softly before leaning closer, pecking his forehead. “I want to talk to you about something later ok?”

“Talk…?! About what…?” Masaki asked almost panicked. “I… I mean… is it important?”

“It is… but don’t worry… I have a proposition to make… I believe or rather…” Sho lowered his head as his voice turned almost as a whisper “I… _hope_ that you will be fond of it… I’ll be back…” Sho managed to finish his words and entered the bath trying to keep the tears that threatened to fall back. _I hope that I haven’t lost you completely… I really hope so…_  
***

“Can we talk now?” Masaki asked the moment he saw Sho entering the kitchen with a towel around his neck.

“You were waiting for me here?” Sho asked slightly frowning. He had seen the way Masaki was sitting at the edge of the chair looking somewhere on the table. His gaze was once again blank… he seemed completely lost in his thoughts, making Sho fear that his worst nightmare would come to life if it hadn’t already.

“Yes… It… it seemed pretty important…” Masaki said, his voice betraying his nervousness.

“It is but I told you I believe that you will be fond of it…”

“I…” Masaki whispered but was made to stand up as Sho took his hand into his.

“Come…” Sho pulled him in the living room and sat at the corner of their sofa.

Masaki sat next to him, feeling his shelter in Sho’s arms. He couldn’t remember when it was the last time that they had sat like this the two of them. Masaki immediately clang on Sho his fingers holding tight his boyfriend’s T-shirt as if he was afraid of letting him go. Sho sighed but wrapped his arms around him stroking softly his back.

“I’ve missed this Sho… I’ve really missed this…” Masaki whispered in an almost trembling voice.

“I’ve missed it too, Masaki… that’s why I took a decision…”

Masaki moved a bit so that he could look at the other’s face. “What decision…?”

“I will quit from the company…”

“Eh?”

Sho smiled reassuringly. “I asked my boss to give me my old post but he refused… so I guess I have to quit… Don’t worry! I’ll do it as soon as another company has accepted me. I’ve already sent my CV and received invitations for interviews. I believe by the end of the month, I will have an answer…”

“Sho…” Masaki bit his lower lip.

“It’s just that we will have to wait for the trip to New York… That school is very expensive and I want you to be able to go there without needing to work at all… I thought that you could apply for this summer but I guess that we will have to wait for another year… I hope that it-” Sho suddenly stopped talking, as he realized that Masaki’s eyes were glistering from tears. “Masaki…?”

Masaki couldn’t utter a single word. Was it because of the happiness? Was it because of the love Sho showed him? Was it because of the guilt he felt? He only knew that he wanted to cry… cry till his eyes would go dry.

“Masaki…” Sho didn’t expect this reaction and if he wanted to be honest he didn’t know what he was supposed to do.

Masaki said nothing. He simply buried his head in the crook of Sho’s neck, sobbing. It wasn’t till several minutes later that he had managed somehow to calm down a bit.

“Masaki…?” Sho tried one more time.

“Why…? Why did you decide that now?” Masaki asked with a husky, due to the crying, voice.

“Because… I realized that I was losing you…” Masaki gasped at the hearing of that. Sho smiled bitterly, avoiding the other’s intense gaze on him. “I should have realized it earlier… that what you really needed was me and not necessarily the trip to New York… I was blind and if I want to be honest I felt assured… that you’d always be by my side… but I finally realized that I was wrong… that I shouldn’t have taken anything for granted… and above all I shouldn’t have taken _you_ for granted…”

“Sho…”

“I just hope that…” Sho lowered his head “I haven’t lost you completely…”

Masaki let out a shaky sigh, as his right hand came to caress Sho’s still wet hair. “Make love to me…”

Sho was taken by surprise and looked at his boyfriend frowning. “Masaki…?”

“Say nothing more… Just make love to me…” Masaki’s request came out more demanding this time, making Sho think that this would be his chance to claim his boyfriend back.

Without saying a single word, Sho crushed their lips together in a passionate, forceful kiss as his hands took hold of Masaki’s thighs, helping him wrap his legs around his waist so that they could stand up and head towards the bedroom. That night the kisses and ministrations weren’t soft as usual… but powerful… imposing.

Masaki felt completely lost in the pleasure his lover was giving him. He had never expected Sho to be rough but it wasn’t painful… it was desperate… it showed how much the other didn’t want to lose him… something that made him think that neither Masaki wished that. He wanted to be in the vortex of those arms forever… he loved Sho and he knew that the other loved him as well.

“SHOOO…” he screamed as he came for the third time. The weight of Sho’s sweaty body on top of his boneless one was heavy but didn’t want him to get off. He could feel the member inside him having become soft but refused to move. He breathed deeply as if he wanted to remember this moment forever.

“I love you…” Sho whispered and by the way his voice cracked, Masaki knew he was at the verge of crying.

Masaki took a deep breath and tightened his arms around his boyfriend even more. He wanted to return the words but not like this… he wasn’t in the place to utter them. He knew the other was disappointed but he promised himself he would clear things up as soon as possible.

Masaki slowly sat up on the bed, once Sho slipped out of him and took his phone in hand. After pressing some buttons, he left it on the bedside table and stood up. “I’ll take a bath…”

Sho only nodded and lighted a cigarette. He waited till he could hear water from the bathroom and took the phone in his hand. He hated himself for what he was doing but he knew that it was above his strength. He had to know…

** To: ** Jun   
Jun… I’ll come to your apartment tomorrow    
At 5 pm. We have to talk… It’s about us…   
Masaki

_‘It’s about us…’_ Sho couldn’t stop the tear that ran down his cheek. “I guess… I have already lost a part of you… I’m so stupid… so stupid…”  
………………………………………..

 

“We need to break up…” Masaki said the moment the door of Jun’s apartment was opened. He didn’t even care if it was properly closed or not. “We need to end this…”

Jun was left dumbfounded. “What are you talking about?”

“This… us… I can’t continue it Jun… it is fair for neither you nor Sho… please…”

“What happened?” Jun asked out loud. “It was yesterday that you told me how much you wanted to see me and now you ask me to end this?!”

“Yes…”

“Who are you kidding, Masaki?” Jun said raising his right eyebrow.

“Excuse me?”

“You like me… even my touch over your clothes sends shivers down your spine… like now…” Jun did exactly what he was saying, making Masaki hate himself for reacting the way he did. It was true… he did like the other… perhaps not the same way like Sho… but there was something… something that made his heart ache now that he had to lose him.

“It… it might be true… I do like you… I do like it being in your arms… I do like it when you make me yours… I do like our endless conversations on photography… on modern art… on fashion… I do... I can’t deny it… but… but I love him…”

“No…” Jun shook Masaki’s shoulders back and forth. “No… you’re just confused… I told you that as long as I can have you I don’t care about his presence next to you even if it hurts… even if I want to take you by the hand and proudly walk around the streets… showing everyone that you’re my boyfriend… showing how lucky I am to have found you… but I can’t do it and I don’t demand it… I can live with our secret meetings… as long as I can see how delighted your face gets when I’m cooking for you… how embarrassed you get when I’m telling you how beautiful you are… how you look at me with lust when I make love to you on this sofa… please…”

“I… Sho decided to leave his job… he will find another one with less working hours… I can’t…”

“Masaki… don’t you know that you were missing something? And that this something was found here? That this something was me…?” Jun said making a few steps ahead till their faces were a few centimeters apart. “Don’t you see it yourself? Your breathing has already turned uneven and I haven’t even touched you yet…”

“Jun…” Masaki tried to speak but he couldn’t. His eyes were locked on Jun’s lips. Yes… he would miss their flavor… their taste… the way they were touching his skin…

Jun didn’t say another word but crushed their mouths together gaining fast a lustful moan from Masaki.

“I was wrong again… I have already lost you…” a voice was heard from behind, making Masaki freeze. He pushed Jun away and slowly turned around till he saw Sho standing next to the half opened door. “Don’t worry about me, Masaki… you don’t have to be with someone just because you feel you have to… I free you from that… I won’t deny that I’m hurt… deeply hurt and disappointed but… at the same time, I’m at fault as well… I understand… so… be with him…”

“Sho…” Masaki whispered - his face filled with hot tears that kept running down from his eyes.

“Goodbye, Masaki…”

Masaki saw his boyfriend walking away and fast looked back at Jun who seemed to be in an equally shocked case. For the first time after almost eight months, the chance to choose was there for him… and all he could do was to laugh bitterly. _Why was I this stupid?!_

“I do like you… Jun but what I found here was a hideout… it made me feel safe and loved… and you are important to me… that’s indeed true… you are a fascinating person and I’m lucky I got to know you but… it never was the reality… the reality that I want… no… the reality that I _need_ in my life…”

“Masaki…” Jun tried in vain to get a grip of Masaki’s hand.

“I don’t deserve you… I’m the worst…”

“No… no you aren’t…”

“I am… because I was never honest not with me but above all not with you either… I’m sorry… for… everything…”

“No…”

“You deserve someone else… someone who won’t try to find a shelter but someone who will find love… That model… Ikuta-san… I might be wrong but I think that his eyes were filled with the latter… He might prove to be the right one for you… Goodbye, Jun…”  
***

Masaki didn’t wait to hear anything else. He got out of the building as fast as he could. He started running towards his home. _Home… Sho… you’re my home… my love… the most precious person to me… I’m so sorry… Sho… so sorry…_ After a while, he felt raindrops falling on his face but he couldn’t care less at the moment.

He was passing by his and Sho’s café when his eye caught the gloomy face of the one he was looking for. He stopped and placed his hand on the glass, that was separating them and no matter how much he tried he couldn’t stop the tears that appeared once again on his face. He felt so stupid… stupid because he let himself fall into such a mess when he knew the answer all along.

It was a couple of minutes later that Sho seemed to realize that someone was standing outside right next to him. His mouth was left agape at the picture of a completely soaked in the rain Masaki looking straight in his eyes. _Could that mean…?_

Sho didn’t wait another second. He threw a banknote on the table and picked up his jacket and his umbrella heading out of the small café.

“Masaki… what are you doing here?”

“I hate myself for doing this to you and for… destroying us… and I also felt stupid… stupid because all this time I let me lie to myself… lie to the most precious person to me… stupid because all this time I felt confused… when there was no reason to be… when the answer couldn’t be but only one… stupid because all this time I never spoke out my fears… my doubts… my simplest thoughts… stupid because I didn’t say the truth… stupid because I didn’t say I love you…”

Sho couldn’t believe his ears. “You mean…”

“When I saw you leaving… when I heard you telling me goodbye… I realized that I couldn’t live without you… That all I needed in my life was Sho… my Sho… my precious Sho-chan… no one else… only my Sho… who cannot even cook spaghetti… who’s bored whenever I talk about photography…”

“You want to be with the one that became absent from your life in the last two and a half years…? The one who actually pushed you away…?” Sho asked, surprising him. Masaki had expected to be accused… yet nothing. _Sho…_ He took a deep breath before starting talking once again.

“I want to be with the one who did all that in order to help me realize my dream… even if I finally realize that that dream means nothing to me if I don’t have this one by my side every day… the one who doesn’t say anything bad to me… who doesn’t accuse me of anything when he has all the right to…” Masaki’s voice cracked up, his hands remaining at both sides of his, not daring to touch the other.

“Masaki…”

“I know I’m being selfish again… but… will you forgive me? Will you forgive me Sho? Please… please…”

Sho sighed deeply. “I will forgive you Masaki but only under one condition…”

“Accepted! Whatever it is...” Masaki snapped at him, desperate.

“Only if you forgive me… first…” Sho whispered lowering his head.

“I… what…? No… Sho… please… I’m the one that-”

“Please Masaki… The reason Jun was there was because _I_ wasn’t…” Sho whispered being determined to turn the page and start over.

Masaki stared at Sho and all he could see was love… the love he was seeking for. “I do forgive you Sho…”

“And I… forgive you… Masaki…” Sho replied in a soft tone his eyes filled with tears.

“I love you…” Masaki mumbled under his breath, his gaze avoiding the other’s one. “I love you, Sho… I really do love you…”

“I love you too… more than my own life…” Sho managed to say right before a loud thunder was heard above them, startling them both. “The rain is getting heavier and you’re wet. We need to get you dry or you will end up catching a cold…”

“I’m fine…”

Sho smiled. “I think that we should go back home…” he said, stretching his hand to Masaki who immediately took a hold of it intertwining their fingers.

“Let’s go home… Sho-chan…” Masaki started walking feeling lighter than he had ever felt in the last few years. They might have made mistakes… yes… but he knew that Sho would always be the most precious person in his life… because _he_ was his home…

 

 

 

THE END

 

 

 

 

 

A.N. Sooo minna this is the second part! ^_^ I'm sure you all have guessed with whom Masaki would end up in the end... xDDD Both Sakuraiba had made their mistakes. It was stupid from the beginning not to talk. As for Jun, it's sad in a way that he wasn't chosen but I believe that it wouldn't be fair for him as well - Masaki was never entirely his. But I haven't let him like that.... *whispers* Toma is on his way! ;)  
Hopefully, Sakuraiba will change the page and be happier together, after realizing how important is to live your everyday life next to the person you love! ^_^

 

I really hope you enjoyed it and as always your comments are <333!!!

 


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